Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
