So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
