im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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