I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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