loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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