Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
