I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How naked do you want me to be?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
