Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
