I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
