just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
