Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
