idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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