Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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