wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
