Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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