Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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