I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
