the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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