If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
