wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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