remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
