dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize