Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
