all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
