Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
