He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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