Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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