Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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