I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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