How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
