She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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