South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
