I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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