My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
