You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
