My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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