another moral hangover. fuck.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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