I hope mine doesn't look like that
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
