the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
