just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
