He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
only you would photoshop your dick
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
