Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
