not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
COCAINE IS GR8
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
