So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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