508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize