Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
