Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
