i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
