just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
