i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
