I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
