Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
