there's paper in my vomit.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
