If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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