"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
