Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish i was in the wii world.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
