I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
