had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize