So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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