woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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