with your own penis?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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