there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
