he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
