Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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