We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
