I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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