just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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