I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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