Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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