I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
